You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
