Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
