My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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