Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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