Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
