he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
