so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize