I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
