I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
