Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
