I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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