this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As shirtless as possible
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
