i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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