Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
