And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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