Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
