whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize