I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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