Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
