i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
