Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
