Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
