non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
