I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
did i walk over a car last night?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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