can we get nightvision for the apartment?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
