Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
