It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
