you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
