i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just pee around me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
