you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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