She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
