Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
