Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
