He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
