Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
