We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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