wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pants are for mortals
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
