he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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