I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
