You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
