There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize