So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
