Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
