Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
sex in a hospital.. check
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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