I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize