Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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