butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
