Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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