Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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