He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
