Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
