Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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