Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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