He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
