Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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