Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
