I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
