I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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