well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't deserve a penis
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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