yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
